The importance of Marriage in Islam


Islams Ruling on Marriage  gaze and guarding ones chastity. Whoever is not able, let him fast for it is for him a restraint." (Al-Bukhari)  Likewise, if polygamy is done to excess by some individuals, it will produce an excess of single men another situation which must be corrected. The raising of children must be done in such a way which promotes marriage and raises both men and women knowledgeable of their roles and duties within the family. All of this can be found in Allahs command to the Muslims as a whole to maximize marriage among us: {And marry off the single among you and the righteous ones among your male and female slaves. If they are poor, Allah will enrichen them from His bounties and Allah is expansive, knowing.} An-Nur:32  Benefits of Marriage  Children  • The love of Allahs Messenger (sas) is also sought in seeking to have children because he (sas) said: "Marry the loving and the fertile for I will outdo the nations with you[r numbers]. (In another version: "...for I will outdo the prophets with you[r numbers] on Qiyama.")  "When a person dies, his works come to an end (are cut off) except from three sources: except from an ongoing charity which he established or knowledge from which benefit is taken or a righteous offspring who makes dua for him." • Protecting oneself from Shaitaan by satisfying ones desires and giving oneself rest and relief from the world by the two spouses enjoying each others company. • Practice of self-discipline and combating the nafs training it in responsibility and custody by fulfilling all obligations toward ones family, being patient and forbearing with their character and putting up with their annoyances. In addition to this, the Muslim man must struggle and strive for their improvement in Islam and guiding them to the straight path of the deen. He must struggle to earn from the lawful for their sake and to participate in the raising of the children on the best of character. These are acts of very high status and of very high reward from Allah. The Prophet (sas) said: Marriage can also represent a test or be afflicted with some harmful situations. • Falling short with regard to the rights of women and being patient with their character and their annoyances. In that there is a great danger because the man is the "shepherd" in the household and is to be questioned about those under his care. The Prophet (sas) said: • For ones family to be a distraction from the remembrance of Allah such that he spends his days and nights enjoying his family and fails to make time for his heart to ponder the hereafter and to work for We have now summarized the possible harms and benefits in marriage. So, the ruling regarding marriage for each and every individual - as to which is better for him, marriage or staying single - is measured against these harms and benefits. Each seeker of Allah should measure himself against these factors and conditions. If none of the harmful issues are present and the benefits are all apparent such that he possesses [sufficient] wealth and good character, is a young person with a need for companionship, then there is no doubt that marriage is preferable and must be sought. On the other hand, if many of the harms are suspected or feared and not all the benefits will occur in any case, then staying single may be preferable for a particular Usually no one forgoes getting married except one, who is either impotent or promiscuous, as ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said to a man who had not got married: “Nothing is keeping you from getting married except either impotence or immorality.” Islam, unlike other religions is a strong advocate of marriage. There is no place for celibacy like, for example the Roman Catholic priests and nuns. The prophet (pbuh) has said "there is no celibacy in Islam. • Her religion. This is by far the most important consideration and above all others. If she does not have good Islam, she will corrupt her husband. The Prophet (sas) said: "Women are married for four: her wealth, her family, her beauty and her religion. So succeed with the one with religion, may your hands be in the dust (i.e., may you be impoverished if you ignore this warning).  • Beauty. This is something desirable, even if it ranks after religion in importance, because it is one of the things which makes the marriage strong and protects the man from wrongdoing. For this reason, the Prophet (sas) ordered men seeking marriage to get a look at the woman before marrying her. Some people used to refuse to neither consider this nor intend it. It is reported that Imam Ahmad chose a cross-eyed woman over her sister. But this is rare and human nature is at odds with it. From Al-Mughira ibn Shuba that he sought to marry a woman and the Prophet (sas) said to him: "Look at her for it is more assuring that it should last between you."  o From Umm Habiba that she was under Ubaidullah ibn Jahsh when he went to Ethiopia ... and he died [there]. Allahs Messenger (sas) married Umm Habiba while she was in Ethiopia. An-Najashi married her to him and her dowry was four thousand and he gave her provision from his wealth and sent her to Allahs Messenger (sas) with Sharhabeel ibn Hasana and all of her provision was from An-Najashi, Allahs Messenger did not send anything to her. And the dowries of the wives of the Prophet (sas) were four hundred dirhams. Just as excessive dowries are disliked from the wifes side; it is equally disliked for the man to inquire about her wealth. Ath-Thawri said: "If a man is marrying and he asks, "What does she have?” know that he is a thief." This is because the Lawgiver encouraged that and human nature favours it. This is because she will love her husband more and feel closer to him than a previously married woman. Human nature is inclined toward closeness to the first object of love or familiarity. • Fertility. Thas she be capable of bearing children. The Prophet (sas) said: • Family. She should be from a family of good religion and character. As we saw in the hadith, it is desirable for the man to look at the woman before marrying her. Also, the guardian of the woman should investigate the religion of the suitor, his character and his conditions for if he marries her to a man of corrupt character or of innovation in his deen, he will have transgressed against her and against himself. A man said to Al-Hassan Al-Basriy: "To whom should I marry my daughter?" Al-Hassan said, "To one who fears Allah for if he comes to love her, he will honour her and if he dislikes her he will not oppress her."  • Al-Waleema. The marriage celebration/feast. This is a strong sunnah and something desireable in Islam. ... he said,” They are Hafsa and Aisha", then he told the stories saying: o Never rejoice at getting a boy or a girl instead of the other one. o Pronounce the adhan in the babies right ear and the iqama in its left right after it is born. o Al-Aqeeqah. Sacrifice two lambs for a boy and one lamb for a girl. Prepare the food and invide the Muslims to eat. From Asmaa (ra) I became pregnant from Abdullah ibn Az-Zubair. I left when nearing full term and went to Al-Madinah. After arriving at Quba, I gave birth there. I brought him to the Prophet (sas) and put him on his (sas) lap. He (sas) called for some dates, chewed them and then put them from his (sas) mouth to the babys mouth. So, the first thing to enter his stomach was the saliva of Allahs Messenger (sas). Then he did the tahneek with dates, made dua for him and asked for blessings upon him. That was the first baby born in Islam. (i.e., in Al-Madinah and among the Muhaajireen.) • Divorce. Divorce is allowed in Islam but not encourage nor to be taken lightly. Divorce is the sole perogative of the man. If a woman desires to end the marriage but the man is unwilling to do so, she must resort to khula before the imam or a qadhi. A man should not surprise his wife with a divorce without any misdeed on her part. It is not allowed for the woman to force her husband to divorce without any misdeed or corruption on his part. o If he must divorce, he must adhere to the following: o He should pronounce only one divorce and take advantage of the period of ruja during which he can easily reverse his decision. o Do not disclose any of her secrets to anyone else. "Among the most evil people before Allah on Qiyama is a man who shares intimacy with his wife and she with him and then he exposes her secrets." "What businesses have I with anothers woman?”


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